I Feel Isolated At Work

January 11, 2012 By 1 Comment
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Isolated at work and not included in socials

I’m feeling isolated at work. I know female co-workers participate in sports and social events after hours but I’m never included. I’d like to let them know I’m interested but is seems awkward. Any advice for me?

It’s not surprising you are feeling isolated and it can be especially upsetting to be surrounded by cheerful colleagues who have plenty of social involvements.

Making friends – even valued acquaintances – is complicated and I’d hesitate to be overly prescriptive; there are, however, a number of approaches you could consider,

I am presuming you are one of the newer hires so it is possible that most of the relationships have already been formed. If you are somewhat younger than other co-workers, you may be seen as a person with different interests.

While it may feel somewhat awkward – to use your word – to let them know you’d like to be involved in some of their activities, you will almost certainly need to be forward. After all, they have yet to invite you to join them.

So, being proactive will be essential but you could consider employing some approaches that would make any plan less intimidating for you.

If there is one colleague you might consider to be a friend start by building bridges with her. If, say, she is a jogger – and that is something that interests you – you could mention it casually and see how she responds.

Remember, too, that you are probably noticing the more organized conviviality when in fact there are likely other smaller and less obvious relationships that may welcome you.

You could even start your own sporting or social activity! While the thought of taking such a bold initiative may concern you, it would allow you to be in control and issue the invitations. You might be surprised who accepts!

With a little research you can find out what activity might be popular. Suppose you learn that no one is involved in, say, a reading club, you could suggest it.

Of course, your basic goal is to make friends where you work; friends generally have common interests so be aware that your co-workers cannot be forced into being involved in a sport or recreational activity that really doesn’t fit them.

Your feelings of isolation need to be addressed but it will require initiative. Don’t expect the current situation to change without putting an effort into connecting with co-workers either through individual contact or perhaps through arranging an activity that will create interest and participation.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

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Too Much Gossip In The Office

January 6, 2012 By 3 Comments
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There’s too much gossip in our office and it’s becoming destructive. How can it be eliminated? It’s hurtful and I personally experienced it recently. What can we do?

Regular readers will know this will be the second column regarding gossip which, I believe, is more negative to office morale than most people realize.

You say there is “too much” gossip but I’d suggest that any gossip is too much because of the pain it can cause, especially to those employees who are its victims.

Most of us, if we are candid, are drawn to gossip. We are fascinated by the unfortunate situations experienced by acquaintances and co-workers and we can sometimes exaggerate as we pass along what we have learned.

Gossip is always negative, never positive. Similar to the expose articles we see on the covers of tabloids – at the supermarket checkout – there is an attraction to the plight of others.

Modern society, it seems, has little regard for confidentiality and privacy, and the affection for gossip would seem to be consistent with this development. In fact, the more personal the information, the more it qualifies as gossip.

It is most unfortunate that you have experienced the cruel effects of gossip. Now, however, you are more than ever empowered to see it reduced significantly.

(You can never eliminate gossip entirely but with consensus and a company-wide policy it can be dramatically moderated.)

Start with yourself. Adopt the principle that you will politely leave a conversation if you can sense it is embracing gossip. Perhaps more importantly, decide that all gossip – which you may hear unintentionally – will end with you.

Introduce the topic – when appropriate – at staff functions. Avoid criticizing anyone by name but instead focus on your general belief that an office that approves of gossip is not a healthy workplace.

As noted earlier, it may be productive to pursue a company-wide policy on gossip, if there is not one currently in place. Speak to your supervisor first before recommending such a policy to your HR department (if you have one).

Stressing the positive news and achievements of various employees can be a proactive innovation which may provide a constructive alternative to gossip. You could also give leadership to this renaissance.

Most people agree that gossip is wounding but unfortunately it can still be attractive. Be proactive in your campaign against it through withdrawal from gossip-based conversation; pledge not to pass along what you’ve heard. And, tactfully promote a corporate policy on gossip that will reduce its acceptance.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact links.

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I Kissed A Co-Worker

December 30, 2011 By 1 Comment
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We recently had an office party at a local hotel and at the end of the evening I kissed a co-worker.  I like her and we’re both single but now I’m feeling very uncomfortable.  What should I do?

Kissing is complicated because it communicates a variety of emotions.  I would guess you are feeling self-conscious about this physical display of affection because you were observed.

You imply this is the first time you kissed; however, you probably would be feeling relatively relaxed if it had been done in private, perhaps as you were both leaving the hotel or in a vehicle.

Colleagues who observed you kissing will now make some assumptions about the relationship and unfortunately might even invent some gossip to be shared with others.

In any event, the kiss is now public knowledge and many of your co-workers – including your supervisor – will be hearing about it informally.

The other dimension to the kiss is that you have used a well-known act to communicate an affection; you initiated it which, in effect, has demonstrated you like her.

If the kiss, on reflection, was somewhat premature, you need to acknowledge the error which you can’t blame on the party atmosphere, or alcohol, for instance.

If she was surprised by the kiss and yet apparently welcomed it – which you’ve observed in the way she now communicates with you – you’ll need to consider her feelings: she could be becoming attached to you.

These two dimensions to the kiss will need to be addressed separately, on the assumption they are both relevant.

In the case of the observable nature of the kiss, I would recommend you refrain from any further public acts of affection.  You should also make every attempt not to mention it, even to friends.

The interest should ultimately subside and although you will be aware that some snooping co-workers may continue to have an interest in what occurred, you should just focus on your work responsibilities.

Your friend should be treated with respect.  If it is your intention not to pursue the relationship, at least at this time, you’ll need to be candid yet sensitive.  If you would like to “grow” the friendship, tell her.

Most friendships, romantic or otherwise, begin at work.  It’s not surprising therefore that you like her (and perhaps she likes you).  Honor her through discretion and don’t allow your relationship to be a source of unwanted interest, even gossip.

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What To Do About A Mediocre Employee

December 22, 2011 By Leave a Comment
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I’ve been supervising a small department with seven employees for almost three years. One guy is mediocre and seems to be doing the minimum. I’d like to let him go but I’m not sure what to say to him. I’m a woman, by the way.

Mediocre is just another word for average: You probably believe he is, in fact, below average which is cause for some concern especially if his performance has been declining.

I wonder if you inherited this employee when you assumed the role of supervisor. If that is the case, you’ve been responsible for his performance for the past three years.

Perhaps the quality of his work has decreased more recently although I presume you are required to evaluate him annually. Did you communicate your concerns at the time or were you merely hoping for an improvement?

In any case, the current situation may not be entirely his fault. You say he seems to be doing the minimum but you aren’t sure. I would presume he has a job description: why aren’t you using it to assess his work?

It is important to realize that if you haven’t identified any problems that he may believe you are satisfied. While he might not have a strong work ethic, he presumably is completing assigned tasks to some extent or else your department would be failing to serve the needs of the company.

Notwithstanding your current frustration, you may wish to wait until his next scheduled evaluation. (If your company does not prescribe evaluations, you should immediately speak with someone in your HR department – if you have one – to give you the necessary authority.)

If evaluations are required, but his has past, you are in a somewhat awkward position. In fact, most companies with a formal evaluation system require the employee to sign off on the appraisal which confirms its accuracy.

The “paper trail” which forms the basis of his review is critical; if you have failed to maintain such a written record or have noted any issues in a careless manner, you will not have the ability to suddenly pursue his termination, especially if your company is unionized.

Any discipline at this point may be a challenge; even if he is aware of your exasperation, he may not sense the gravity of the matter. Your expectations need to me measurable and attainable in order to achieve success as his supervisor.

Become organized and systematic immediately. Maintain well-documented records of his work performance and evaluate fairly. Allow him to grow in his position and he may ultimately surprise you with the kind of work you have been hoping for.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

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My Wife Wants Me To Earn More

December 16, 2011 By 10 Comments
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I’m getting married in a few months which is great but my fiancée wants me to become career-minded and make more money. I’m happy with my current job and salary and I’d prefer to stay. What should I say to her?

While I am not in a position to offer what might be characterized as pre-marital counseling, I would say your question should alert you to a probable tension once you are married.

Her expectations are apparently based upon her vision as a future wife – and mother perhaps – which involves a certain lifestyle. She is aware of your current salary and believes it will not meet her material needs.

You don’t mention her own career aspirations but if she is currently making more than you, it will almost certainly create strain, especially in light of what she has mentioned.

If she’s planning to be a stay-at-home-mom, her realistic evaluation of the family budget requirements have led her to believe your income will be insufficient to provide a satisfactory home life.

If there are “big ticket items” on her list – such as new home, vacations and an expensive car, for instance – you may quickly come to the conclusion that you are facing a significant conflict, if you can’t see budgeting for them.

While it is not always the case, our lifestyle prospects are often autobiographical; in other words, if she comes from a financially comfortable family, she will be disappointed if this situation can’t be maintained.

This, too, would apply to her “career-minded” ambitions for you. If either or both of her parents are professionals or successful entrepreneurs, for example, she almost certainly will expect no less from you.

The good news is she has agreed to marry you – based upon love, no doubt – but the bad news is that she is now issuing some conditions which you seem to find unacceptable.

This would be the opportune time to sit down with her and prepare a budget employing a couple of scenarios. Her dreams probably will conflict with yours and it will be essential to identify them prior to being married.

Flexibility will be required and both of you will likely need to “give” in order to achieve a consensus. Perhaps it is good she is motivating you to get out of your “comfort zone” and consider a career (with a higher income).

Don’t wait until after you are married to discuss these significant issues. While there is bound to be some anxiety, you should be candid with each other rather than pretending there is an agreement when it has yet to be achieved.

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How To Get Respectd At Work

December 10, 2011 By Leave a Comment
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I’ve been working part-time for the same company for about 11 years.  I’m the mother of three young children, so it’s worked out well.  Now, however, I have a new supervisor who is not respecting me and she often gives me less shifts to work.  What can I do?

I presume you’ve spoken with her and expressed your concerns.  I wonder if the conversation resulted in some tension between you which in part has created the current situation.

You don’t feel she respects you but be cautious with this perception as it may be more related to your emotions rather than from an accurate analysis of her treatment of you.  It may be, too, that a number of employees are being treated similarly.

The more practical matter of why you – and perhaps others – are being given fewer shifts should be relatively easy to resolve if you have seniority with the company.

After 11 years, you will likely have some kind of contract, written or otherwise, which should entitle you to consideration.  Your circumstances have apparently changed with the arrival of the new supervisor, so it would appear to be based upon her initiative.

The matter of transparency would seem to be important.  If there is an agenda to reduce the hours of more senior employees – possibly because newer hires would be less expensive – then this needs to be identified.

(There may an internal plan to reduce overall costs so you and some of your colleagues are receiving a smaller number of shifts because fewer employees are being assigned to various jobs.)

It would be in your best interests to pursue the matter as soon as possible.  If, in fact, you are being treated unfairly, the longer you take to express your concerns, the less persuasive your argument will be.

Take the time you need to prepare a short written report which you would present to your supervisor.  If you’ve already had an informal conversation, this would provide the follow-up which makes the case for the previous arrangement – with a similar number of shifts.

Your next step would be to respectfully request a meeting with the departmental manager and your supervisor. Don’t go to the manager directly as this could be seen as an effort to short circuit accountability and your supervisor may be resentful.

You will need to be assertive yet polite.  Although no doubt this is a difficult time for you, refrain from sharing your grievances with co-workers and remain positive.  A resolution that serves your interests in probably attainable but you should expect some resistance until the decision is made in your favor.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our “Contact” page.

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Are You Afraid of Change?

December 1, 2011 By 1 Comment
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I’m becoming totally restless at work. I’ve been doing essentially the same job for almost five years and I’d love to do something different. I’m a bit nervous about making a change though. Your ideas?

You’ve probably been discontented at work for some time but now are open to considering a change. My guess is that you’re currently contemplating leaving your position because of your admiration of a co-worker’s promotion or for a colleague who has accepted a job with another company.

Your current circumstances represent the classical tension between security and challenge. Your position, while tiresome, provides regular pay, benefits and the comfort of working with familiar co-workers.

On the other hand, you are restless, and after five years, you are imagining a position which is more exciting with opportunities to grow and contribute.

While you don’t mention it, I presume you haven’t pursued other positions with your current employer. Perhaps there have been few vacancies, or maybe nothing has interested you.

In terms of providing a level of security, it would be to your advantage to grow in your current situation. Although you still might need to leave your “comfort zone” to some extent, another job in your office will be less stressful than a position with a new employer.

In addition, if you are offered the opportunity to move up the organization – through a promotion – you should expect the support of management as you assume more responsibility.

This will also be the time to take inventory of your future with your present employer: perhaps you are become increasingly aware that you likely won’t be considered for a promotion or even a lateral move.

You’re a dedicated hard-working employee, no doubt, but you should be aware that your supervisor will not necessarily recognize your efforts beyond a small raise or a positive appraisal. Any initiative is your responsibility!

If you’re ready to make your move, document a plan privately in writing and speak with your spouse – if you are married – to ensure she or he is supportive.

Become strategic – first by meeting confidentially with your HR department – and then by visiting a variety of relevant job websites. You may even want to speak with a career consultant.

It’s not surprising you are nervous about making a change; however, with proper planning, and the advice from those whom you respect, you should be able to make a smooth transition into a wonderful new position.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

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Does Divorce Affect Office Morale?

November 25, 2011 By 20 Comments
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A woman in our office is going through a very unhappy divorce.  She frequently talks about it even at meetings and is visibly emotional much of the time.  We all feel sorry for her but she is seriously impacting office morale.  What can we do?

A divorce can be emotionally devastating so it obviously will be the most important event in her life at this time.  And, not surprisingly, she needs to talk about it.

If her husband has cheated on her or surprised her with a request for a divorce, the impact will be even more upsetting.  She will feel the loss of trust and consequently will be consumed with anger and resentment.

Unfortunately, divorces also turn what was once a personal relationship – based on affection – into a business transaction as both parties fight for assets; this too can be distressing.

If she is a relatively lonely person – with few friends and relatives in the area – she may consider co-workers as her only option for unburdening.  An eight-hour workday provides plenty of time to speak about her anguish.
You say office morale is being impacted.  I presume other employees in your office are being drawn into her situation and are dreading conversations with her.
It will be extremely difficult for you or anyone else to engage her in a productive discussion regarding her affect on morale; she is self-absorbed, hurting and potentially volatile.

If she has a close friend at the office, you could encourage her to represent the general distress of co-workers in a way that is diplomatic yet candid.  Casual remarks made with this intent could be helpful.

Should the situation persist, it may be productive to assign someone to confidentially share your concerns with the HR department (if you have one).  They will likely be aware of her despair and she may have already spoken with someone in the department.

One option may be for her to take some time off to attend to the divorce proceedings.  She may be eligible for a leave of absence or she could use all or part of her vacation time.

Professional counseling may also be available through your company benefits program.  Her participation would be discreet and coordinated through HR.

Your concerns about her impact on office morale are legitimate.  While she likely has every right to feel wounded, she doesn’t have the right to impose her pain on others.  A suitable time away would be ideal; counseling, too, would also be helpful.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon Gibson through our contact page.

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My Promotion to Manager Is Making Me Nervous

November 18, 2011 By 64 Comments
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I’ve just been promoted to manager of our small five-person department.  It’s an exciting opportunity but I am frankly quite nervous. I want to do a great job. Any advice for me?

Congratulations! Your nervousness is to be expected; after all, this is your first opportunity to manage others, not just complete assigned tasks.

In some ways, becoming a manager is a little like becoming a parent. You can plan for it, even read a few books, but when the day finally arrives, you need to rely on common sense and a belief in your capacity to succeed.

You’re a boss now: you are accountable for the work of others. This fact should comfort you to some extent because your employer has chosen you for your potential. They believe in you and want you to do well.

As you approach your new duties, let me make one critical recommendation: strive for balance. Don’t forsake your family by becoming a workaholic. Exercise regularly, eat healthy meals and don’t feel obliged to attend every meeting.

Some newly-minted managers mistakenly believe they should suddenly take on a new personality; this is not generally recommended as co-workers and those reporting to you will likely not appreciate your hollow attempt to act like a make-believe manager.

Someone once said it is better to be a first class version of yourself rather than a second class version of somebody else. In other words, copying the behavior of other managers will do little to build credibility with your employees.

On a more practical level, it would be good to carefully review the position description for your new job. It is likely this document will be used as the primary standard for your evaluation so keep it close at hand.

In addition, assess the duties of the five employees reporting to you. You may be surprised to find they are not always “on task” and have even given up or assumed new responsibilities. Your role as their manager will be to hold them accountable – don’t shy away from this key responsibility.

If your department has few or irregular meetings, you should immediately institute one on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Regular and consistent communication should improve morale, allow an airing of concerns, and will give you the opportunity to build a team.

Ultimately, you will succeed by leading by example. Late arrivals, long lunch hours, lengthy breaks, extended phone calls and personal Emailing would be the negative model for your employees. Remember: you are being watched.

Becoming a manager should be a wonderful career opportunity for you. Be prepared to work hard, focus on your assigned tasks, and maintain balance.

Motivate your team by example and don’t lose your sense of humor (which is a great stress-reliever).

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon Gibson through out contact page.

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Avoid Being Over-Delegated

November 11, 2011 By 39 Comments
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My boss is increasingly delegating more of his responsibilities to me. He’s a great guy (I’m a woman) but I am feeling totally overworked. What can I do?

You current situation has developed incrementally: with each assignment, you assumed more work but once you reached a threshold, you suddenly became aware of the problem.

Your circumstances are now problematic as you are probably either rushing through tasks – which affects quality – or simply letting work slide. A pile of incomplete work is a tangible reminder you just don’t have enough time available.

The fact you have allowed this condition to arise would lead me to believe you are a dedicated and hard-working employee. Unfortunately, however, your boss may be taking advantage of your commitment.

In addition, he may be similarly receiving additional responsibilities from his supervisor so there could be a “cascade” of work moving down the organization.

I’m assuming you have limited opportunities to delegate; you don’t have anyone reporting to you so completing the work would seem to be your only option, at least at this time.

It may be productive to create a list of the various assignments you’ve accepted over, say, the past year. You could order them in priority and determine which ones are the most demanding.

As well, you might wish to identify those jobs that have grown since you accepted them. While some, no doubt, have been “one off” projects, others have developed into something much more significant.

Once you have prepared a list, make an appointment with your boss and request he set aside sufficient time in order that you can share your concerns. Speak from printed notes and give him a copy.

Be careful not to whine or blame him for the current situation (after all, you willingly accepted the jobs). Instead, point out the tasks you are having difficulty completing and request they be assigned to others or given to a temporary hire.

Don’t suggest he take any work back as this will almost certainly give him stress; be understanding and show you empathize with the demands of his position.

Your boss trusts you to do a good job – which is a compliment. Now, however, you need to be reasonably forceful with your request that he resist delegating further tasks to you and re-allocate some current assignments to others.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon Gibson through our contact page.

 

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How To Handle Workday Interruptions

November 4, 2011 By 30 Comments
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A retired employee interrupts our work day

This may sound rather heartless, but a retired employee comes around quite often and interrupts us. He is a great guy but his visits can be annoying. What can we do to discourage him?

It’s an extremely sensitive matter because he believes you appreciate his visits while you would prefer he didn’t drop by – at least not so frequently.

He is apparently under the misunderstanding that his visits are genuinely valued and that the conversations are not interruptions but welcomed social times.

You don’t identify when he retired but my guess is that it was within the last year or so: he is probably still going through work “withdrawal”. Men, in particular, seem to identify with their work to the degree that retirement can sometimes cause depression.

He may even be lonely and is missing the fellowship of colleagues. This can be understandable, especially if he has a small circle of friends or is single.

If you think back to his retirement party – which I am presuming you attended – the MC may have invited him “to keep in touch,” which is a common phrase; the problem is that he has taken it too literally.

Does he have a close friend in the office? Perhaps it is his or her invitations that are promoting him to come by and once there, he naturally turns his attention to others.

You say he is “a great guy” which presumably means he is not self-absorbed and emotionally needy; this should make any communication regarding this issue somewhat less challenging.

One informal option would be to identify his friend and encourage him or her to share the concerns of the office. The message should be extremely gentle but it would be less upsetting coming from someone close.

A more systematic approach might involve the HR department which could organize regular – perhaps quarterly – social events specifically for retirees. These events, implicitly, would replace the current casual drop-ins. Any communication with him needs to stress that you miss working with him but that in order to give him the attention he deserves, the times for conviviality need to be scheduled and outside of work hours.

An additional benefit of a planned event is that other retirees will also be invited which may allow him to re-kindle friendships which could possibly diminish his need to drop by your office.

Your compassion for him is critical. While he can’t be permitted to continue interrupting your work day, you don’t want to make him feel unwanted. Consider a somewhat formal social which could allow him to continue his relationships with former colleagues and, at the same time, connect with other retirees.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to simongibson@shaw.ca

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I’m Nervous Supervising Employees

November 1, 2011 By 41 Comments
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Welcome to the excitement – and stress – of junior management! This sounds like a wonderful opportunity and an obvious acknowledgement of your skills.

It’s understandable that you are a little nervous, as you put it. But, the fact you have been selected means you can assume these responsibilities knowing you have the confidence of those above you.

If you have not already done so, immediately familiarize yourself with the HR (employee) manual, if your company has one. Policies regarding such matters as sick time, late arrivals, coffee breaks and vacations, for example, will be good to know.

You’ll need their job descriptions so be sure to request them. Review the responsibilities and plan to evaluate their performance against what is expected.

I’d recommend you get off to a good start with both employees by arranging to have lunch with them at a favorite (not fast food) restaurant. Keep it mainly social and don’t see it as an opportunity to assert your role as their boss.

While it is obvious to you that you are younger than they are, it may be of no concern to them, so don’t bring it up.

You could also take this occasion to make some positive comments about their work – if you are able to do so. They’ll be suspicious of flattery so avoid giving them excessive praise, particularly if it is not based on personal observation.

In terms of your role as their supervisor, you’ll almost certainly find your own management style, but you might want to take a relevant course or read a few books in the “science” of management.

1If there is a supervisor or manager in your office whom you admire, you could consider consulting informally with him or her from time to time to seek their advice on a particular matter.

Your promotion represents an exciting break – rise to the challenge and enjoy the experience. And, be sure to take the work seriously but don’t take yourself too seriously!

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon Gibson through our contact page.

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Career Advice For A Newbie?

November 1, 2011 By 61 Comments
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I realize your column deals mostly with the challenges facing employees and supervisors. In my case, I will be entering the workforce shortly with a degree and some relevant experience. What advice can you give me as I plan for my career?

A degree and relevant experience sounds like a great start. Career planning, in my view, is all about passion. You need to be excited about your choice because you’ll be spending so much of your time in your chosen profession.

It has been my privilege to teach university students for many years and when asked a similar question to yours I often recommend making two lists: “Things I’m good at” and “Things I like to do”. I then suggest drawing lines connecting common items on both lists.

Although this approach is not overly precise it can be helpful. When embarking on a career, it is desirable to consider a job which appeals to you not just on the basis of competence.

“What is my dream job?” can be a useful question to ask yourself. If you’ve been entranced with, say, becoming an astronaut or world-class chef, go for it! The journey of pursuing your dream will be just as rewarding as the destination.

Remember, too, that the practical side of a job such as the rate of pay, office hours and vacation time, for example, can be important but they probably won’t give you much lasting satisfaction.

It is important to be flexible as you plan for your career: opportunities will emerge and others will vanish. Stay focused but do realize that life in general will not always go smoothly: setbacks should be anticipated.

In researching the opportunities in your chosen career area, it is often productive to speak with someone working in the field. Use probing – but courteous – questions and don’t accept answers that are overly vague or noncommittal.If further education is needed, seek out universities and other institutions that are accredited and speak with an advisor about getting started sooner rather than later. Ideally, programs that can be taken part-time while launching your career can be especially desirable.

Career planning can be a wonderful experience, full of adventure and anticipation. Be sure to pursue your passions and dreams and recognize that it won’t be all “smooth sailing” as you prepare yourself through significant experience, education and hard work.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon Gibson through our contact page.

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I’m Thinking Of Applying For A New Job

November 1, 2011 By 34 Comments

I’m thinking about applying for a position at another company. I’ve been at my current job for almost seven years and feel it’s time to

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move on. I’m worried, though, that my current employer will find out that I am planning to leave. How do I keep it confidential?

Seven years in the same job is definitely proof that you have staying power and the capacity to handle the responsibilities assigned to you.

A new employer should be impressed with your reasonably long tenure although I’m not sure if you are applying for a similar or more senior position at the other company.

Your concern about protecting the confidentiality of your aspirations is typical of many people in your situation; however, let me encourage you to follow a process which should minimize your worries.

First of all, exercise considerable discretion in who you speak with at work. (Secrets, someone joked, are those things we tell people one person at a time.)

If you mention to one or two co-workers that you are thinking of leaving, it is probable that this “secret” will move quickly throughout the office.

Second, you should not be concerned that the prospective employer will betray your confidentiality; after all, assuming you are proceeding with your application, they will not be in a position to take the matter further until you have been “short-listed.”

And, third, HR departments are very cautious about protecting the confidentiality of applicants because they do appreciate that they are contemplating leaving for a variety of reasons.

Should you have the good fortune to be considered for the position, it is most likely that communication will only take place at the conclusion of their negotiations with you; in other words, your present employer will normally learn of your plans just prior to receiving your written resignation.

One further thought: if you have an excellent relationship with your boss, it may be a good idea to let him or her know of your ambitions somewhat earlier – after all, he or she will generally be your main reference.It is important to remember that until you leave your current position, your employer will expect you to work hard and do your best; besides, you may apply for a number of positions before being hired.

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My Boss Looks At Bad Stuff On His Computer

November 1, 2011 By 32 Comments

Mybosslooksat“badstuff”onhiscomputeranditseemsasifhe switches to a different program or site as soon as I enter his office. Others

TEL AVIV , ISRAELI - DECEMBER 30: Former Isra...

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have also commented on this – what should I do?

By “bad stuff,” I suppose you are referring to pornography. The significant growth of so-called “adult sites” is well-known and, because of the convenience and secrecy, people – predominantly men – no longer must face the embarrassment of purchasing pornographic magazines at a store.

Unfortunately, the attraction to such material can be so beguiling that some men will be tempted to view it in more public settings such as the workplace.

Your boss obviously feels guilty with his habit because, as you say, he switches off what is viewing when you enter his office.

You and your colleagues are essentially victims of a form of “sexual harassment” and your boss – if indeed he is viewing pornography – can be subject to severe discipline, even termination.

I would recommend you initially approach him independently – and confidentially – and detail your concerns and how you have actually observed the pornographic material (if that is the case).

It would be a good idea, if possible, to document the “evidence,” with specific dates and times – in order to give credibility to your points.

He can be expected to respond in one of two ways: he may be repentant, even remorseful, which, of course, is good. He may, on the other hand, become defensive and critical of you. In the latter case, excuse yourself and neatly record his comments.

At the earliest opportunity, make an appointment with your Human Resources Department – if you have one – or your boss’s immediate supervisor. Be prepared to explain your concerns – using the same material you shared with your boss – and how it is affecting morale.In any case, even if he is repentant, he will need to curtail his behavior immediately, and this may require the counsel and encouragement of others.

Be assured, however, that your efforts to correct the situation and confront your boss are well-advised and beneficial to the company.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon Gibson through out contact page.

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