Re-Branding The Company

I’ve been asked to serve on a committee which has been assigned to re-brand our company. I’m a junior accountant and don’t have a background in branding – or marketing – so I am not sure what will be required. Do you have any ideas for me?

Branding, or positioning, is important because it defines the image to customers. How you feel about a company is much more than the mix of products and services: it is the personality, the qualities, you believe in.

Management has likely selected a group of employees – from disparate departments – to provide broad input. Notwithstanding your accounting responsibilities, you may be intrigued with the discussion as it will almost certainly contribute to the success of the company.

In addition, it is not expected you will be an expert in branding; in fact, you will find most committee members represent departments that would not normally be involved in the process. Your input, therefore, will be useful because of its lack of assumptions and biases.

You should expect a series of meetings and a facilitator from outside the company – or a departmental manager – to guide the conversation. Full participation will be encouraged so be sure to speak up.

Management wishes to re-brand the company which would seem to indicate the current branding is not positively contributing to growth and profitability.

Branding is largely about values and this committee exercise will likely review the origins of the existing branding image and consider its relevance for a changing marketplace.

You’ve probably served on other committees when one or two members tended to guide – even monopolize – the discussion and decisions. Be sure to stand up for what you believe in should you sense this committee may be dominated by a few strong-willed participants.

Some topics you can anticipate may include some of the following: value for money, standard of service, quality products, reliability, durability, sensitivity, appeal to certain demographic groups, and others.

While it might not be the case, management may have its own agenda. If the committee is to make a legitimate contribution to the process, I’d suggest that management’s view not be solicited until the committee has completed its work.

Additionally, the committee should investigate a formal system of consultation with customers. Re-branding, after all, is for the benefit of present and future customers, so their views will be essential for the final report.

Re-branding is a significant initiative and you should take your committee responsibilities seriously. Willingly participate and ensure that everyone contributes. The company will undoubtedly be better equipped to face an increasingly competitive marketplace as a result of your involvement.

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Serving Two Bosses

I have two supervisors: our senior department head, a woman, who is quite demanding, and my immediate supervisor, a man, who is more pleasant and encouraging.  Their different management styles make it very stressful – what would you suggest?

Being supervised by two bosses is most certainly problematic whatever their styles of management; in fact, HR professionals never would approve of such an arrangement, except perhaps in the atypical case of a project or occasional committee involvement.

While you contend you have two supervisors, I wonder if circumstances have allowed your direct boss to be displaced to some extent by the senior department head.

Perhaps he has allowed her to become involved with his responsibilities and, in turn, she has taken an interest in your duties.  If she is as demanding as you say, he may also be deferring to her because of her authoritative personality.

He sounds more cordial and you obviously prefer his management style; however, he may be attempting to offset her manner as he sees you experiencing conflict as you attempt to carry out their wishes.

I presume you have an annual evaluation: is this performed by your immediate supervisor?  To what extent does the department head become involved – is she equipped to make an intelligent assessment of your work?

I would suppose he does your evaluation and perhaps she provides some uninvited input.  This, clearly, is not ideal and, as you have noted, the process is stressful because you are given contrasting messaging.

Unfortunately, the current situation has likely occurred with the tacit permission of your immediate supervisor: it is his responsibility and now you’ll both need to be a part of the resolution.

If your evaluation is scheduled to take place, consider preparing a short report based on your concerns and be prepared to present it at that time. Ideally, the submission should be made by your supervisor to the department head, although he may be somewhat anxious.  She may even be animated in her response and will perhaps see this initiative as a threat to her authority.

It will be important for your supervisor – or you – to stress that your capacity to be successful is being weakened with two bosses and that a single level of accountability is advantageous.

It is apparent that the current situation cannot continue.  You have every right to address the matter if at all possible but it appears even though this matter affects you, it will be up to the departmental manager and your supervisor to make the necessary adjustments.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

Start A New Business

I’ve often thought about starting my own business and my husband is quite supportive of the idea. I’m restless in my current position but I know I have some marketable skills. Do you have any recommendations for me?

I would say just about everyone has contemplated the idea of becoming an entrepreneur. The freedom, earning potential and personal satisfaction can be very attractive, especially if you are no longer challenged in your job.

Motivation is important, however feelings of restlessness may not be assuaged should you leave and start your own business. Consider whether your mood originates beyond the circumstances of your current position.

The allure of being an entrepreneur can be intoxicating, partly because the media delights in reporting on the newest billionaire who has succeeded, apparently overnight, in achieving extraordinary success.

The reality of business, though, is that most new businesses fail; in fact, less than half of all new businesses start-ups last more than three years. A cursory glance around your community, no doubt, will reveal a large number of retailers who have come and gone.

Competition is fierce and with the rise of E-commerce, consumers can now broaden their horizons internationally to find the best price. Margins are narrowing and even seasoned businesses are no longer able to depend on the loyalty of their current customer base.

Passion: I’d like to suggest this will be the most important character trait you’ll need to succeed. Your energy and your enthusiasm will go a long way in keeping you focused, but also will inspire your customers to believe in your business to meet their needs.

You say you have marketable skills – which is great but how will you locate suitable customers? Do you plan to make sales calls? Will you need a web presence? Will you do advertising?

It is likely that you won’t make a profit immediately. Can you live comfortably – on only your husband’s salary – for, say, six months? And speaking of money, you’ll require some financing, especially if you are interested in retail, or planning to buy an existing business, for example. Banks have special programs for new entrepreneurs and have staff dedicated to “cash flow lending”.

Should you decide to proceed, you may wish to start slowly – while keeping your existing job – and “grow” the business to see if you have what it takes. This will be less stressful and may complement the security you have at work.

Becoming an entrepreneur is a significant decision. Seek the counsel of experienced businesspeople and have realistic expectations. Your passion will take you through many challenges but you will also need to be willing to work hard to thrive.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

My Boss Is Disorganized

My boss is likeable but extremely disorganized.  I’m her assistant and often have to resolve last-minute crises because of her lack of planning.  Other managers have even blamed me for the late completion of projects.  Your advice, please!

You have every right to be frustrated although I would guess you feel appreciated by your boss who, no doubt, is very dependent on you.

She is a almost certainly a social person and her spontaneous nature, while pleasant, is making it difficult for you to do your job.  It must be especially irritating to be blamed by others for her organizational incompetence.

The current situation has emerged incrementally and you now increasingly find yourself assuming responsibilities that were not part of your original position description.

You know you are enabling her, but it will be a challenge to extricate yourself from the current situation.  Her reliance on you may be bordering on dependency yet she is probably quite happy with the arrangement.

I sense, too, that you have also been protecting her, even defending her to some extent.  While laudable, the fact managers have blamed you for her negligence would indicate she is deluding her colleagues.

She is also fully aware of your skills and, while complementary to her own, they are effectively being exploited to serve her own ends; in short, she is apparently taking advantage of you.

You have two options available.  The first option is  to pursue a transfer to another department for a position with similar responsibilities.  A promotion may also be a possibility at this time.

Your second option – which would be more difficult to achieve – is to speak with your boss about the matter.  She won’t be surprised, but she also won’t be happy to receive your concerns.  In fact, she might even become emotional.

Arrange to meet with her – perhaps over lunch or coffee off-site – and present the issues as they relate to the good of the company.  Arguments that are seen to be self-serving will be less persuasive.

Avoid criticizing her and stress the positive if at all possible.  Select a specific subject that could represent the larger problem and illustrate how it is contributing negatively to the success of the department.

While she may initially be annoyed with your presentation, she’ll be impressed with your sincerity and will want to do the right thing.  Allow her the opportunity to respond within, say, a week, and you may be pleased to discover that she is taking greater responsibility for her managerial deficits.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

Layoffs At Work

NYC  TEACHERS' PROTEST RALLY AGAINST  LAYOFFS ...

My divisional manager has asked me to lay off an employee as our company sales and profits have been lower than expected.  I think everyone in the department is valuable so I don’t know what to do.  It seems unfair.  Your suggestions?

Layoffs can sometimes be a reality for many companies, especially if there are seasonal cycles or unanticipated issues such as increased competition or declining markets.

Unfortunately, however, layoffs occasionally may be an over-simplistic response to financial pressures. Management might see employees as a significant expense so layoffs are attractive for a “quick fix.”

The implementation of layoffs – and the communication with selected employees – is delegated to supervisors (like you) and management, in many cases, is shielded from the resulting tension and despondency.

Apart from the obvious requirement to have work distributed to others, morale can also suffer as employees – especially those performing similar functions – may believe they also could be vulnerable.

(I will assume you do not work in a unionized office as the collective agreement would govern the layoff process and you would be obliged to follow a set of prescribed procedures.)

I’d recommend you do nothing until you have investigated the entire matter by speaking with your manager, the HR department – if you have one – and even through informal conversation with colleagues.

You may learn your department has been selected arbitrarily to be down-sized or perhaps someone has recommended you because you have a nice personality and won’t be expected to protest.

On the assumption your departmental layoff is one of many company-wide you can still make a case for retaining everyone.  Prepare a report explaining why a layoff would not be in the best interests of the company and submit it to your boss as soon as possible.

If the appeal is unsuccessful, you should now consider the reality of the requested layoff which will require sensitivity and tact.  Ideally, it may be best to select the most junior employee although this may not be practical.

Ensure you have all the necessary HR documents and arrange a private meeting with the employee you’ve selected.  Be firm and do not indicate you are willing to negotiate by reducing his or her pay or offering a reduced workweek, for example.

Laying off a valued employee will be stressful for you; it will, however, be even more stressful for the employee; Your clear explanation of the situation and the fact the decision is in no way related to his or her performance will go a long way in providing emotional comfort at this time.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

Promotions May Be Denied Because I’m A Woman

Double Discrimination [SEMINAR]

I’ve been a junior manager for some time and have been unsuccessful in my applications for more senior positions.  I often think it is because I’m a woman.  Some colleagues feel I should demand to be treated more fairly.  Your suggestions?

The so-called “glass ceiling” which refers to the subtle discrimination against people advancing within an organization – in this case, women – is certainly found in most companies.

In fact, although many progressive companies and governmental agencies have made significant efforts to improve the opportunities for women (and visible minorities) the elimination or reduction of barriers seems to be moving at a sluggish pace.

The unfortunate reality of the situation is something we need to acknowledge.  With time, perhaps, the circumstances will change as women move more into executive positions with the responsibilities and compensation to match.  Advances will almost certainly not happen rapidly.

While this may sound rather discouraging, it is also prudent not to be concerned with a pervasive condition that won’t be resolved through your individual frustrations.

Your personal situation, however, may be something that can be addressed.
Approach the apparent discrimination with an open mind and don’t see yourself as a victim.

It is entirely possible, of course, that you could have been unsuccessful in your applications because others candidates – males, I presume – were superior with better qualifications, experience and education.

Perhaps you were less prepared for your interviews, and other applicants may have presented an image that was more authoritative and professional.

In any case, at this point you can’t be sure why you haven’t been promoted.  Co-workers are suggesting you “demand to be treated more fairly”; in my view, that is ill-advised and will almost certainly create tension which could further diminish your opportunities for advancement.

If you haven’t already done so, arrange to meet with your supervisor confidentially in her office; working from prepared notes, respectfully request to know the reasons for your lack of career mobility.

Listen carefully and respond logically and calmly.  Do not argue or whine.  Should she recommend you take a program of study to further your management skills, for example, accept her advice.

If you plan to remain with this company – and generally like the atmosphere – you’ll need to be seen as a positive force.  After all, when you eventually receive a well-deserved promotion, you want to be chosen because you are simply the best person for the job!

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

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Employees Distracted At Meetings

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I chair monthly staff meetings with a dozen employees.  Virtually everyone spends part of the meeting texting, Emailing and doing web searches. They do participate to some extent but I think it’s rude.  What can I do?

The smart phone, Ipad and laptop (with Wi-Fi) are extremely beguiling and our fascination with technology can mesmerize us in just about any setting – even in a meeting where attention is expected.

The concern that a missed text message or Email might contain something important can pull us away from our circumstances and cause us to “drop out” and busily divert our attention elsewhere.

It has probably crossed your mind to simply institute a policy of not allowing smart phones or laptops at the meetings.  It is probably not the solution, however, as attendees would almost certainly resent you and may even quit attending – if it is optional.

Banning technology from meetings would also be seen as a criticism of their conduct – and level of interest – which may be received as a personal condemnation of them, notwithstanding the fact that they do participate, as you note.

If you’ve accepted the current behavior of attendees – which has likely grown incrementally – it will be rather problematic to unilaterally make a firm rule without some consultation.

There are a few questions you should ask yourself: First, do you sense people becoming distracted as the meeting progresses?  Second, are they similarly preoccupied at other meetings?  And, third, do you engage people or do you sense they are often bored?

While you probably shouldn’t blame yourself, if you allow the meetings to divert from the agenda and drag on, then distraction may be a symptom of a larger problem.

So, if you have discerned that attendees are initially quite attentive but soon become consumed with texting and Emailing, it may be an indication that meetings are just too long.

I’d recommend you take the first 10 minutes of your next meeting to introduce the topic.  Seek consensus and alert those present that as chair you believe technology is distracting people from the agenda – which is causing the meetings to be potentially ineffective.

Ask for their advice and be open to suggestions.  Ultimately, you are just one person.  But, the current environment will need to be changed for meetings to accomplish their objectives.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

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Nicknames At Work

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Nicknames


I’m a female and my boss, a guy, has recently given me a nick-name which I don’t like.  Now some co-workers are also starting to use it.  I quite like my boss but this is very upsetting to me.  What should I do to stop people from using this nickname?

Many of us will remember our high school days when nicknames were sometimes used to tease people; in fact, my recollection is that virtually all nick names were designed to make fun of someone.

Nicknames are seemingly designed to emphasize the one thing that a person may struggle with; the perpetrator understands this anxiety and uses it to inflict pain, or at least annoyance.

Such torment may be as mild as nicknames related to body type or hair color, for example, or as troubling as those concerning racial background or gender stereotypes.

Nicknames, by definition, assume that the recipient will at the very least be made to feel somewhat uncomfortable although with the passing of time, it may be less disconcerting.

People will on occasion substitute their given name for an informal name – especially in a work or school setting – but this is not to be confused with a nickname as it is personally selected for individual reasons.

In your case, you don’t like the nickname chosen by your boss but I’d like to suggest that probably any nickname would be offensive to you.

While you may quite like your boss, he has authority over you; the act of giving you a nickname, therefore, could be seen as an act of influence which shows disrespect.

What are his motives in giving you a nickname?  He may find it amusing, an expression of appropriate affection.  You, however, feel demeaned and may even worry that co-workers will have less regard for your responsibilities.

You should have mentioned it immediately – when he first introduced the nickname.  It will be more difficult now, but you still need to speak to him.

It will likely be uncomfortable for both of you, but arrange to meet with him –behind closed doors – and ask specifically that he immediately discontinue using the nickname.  Don’t extend the discussion to other topics and allow him to respond if he wishes.

He may become defensive – which is understandable; but, you still need to be firm with your request or else he may continue to use it occasionally, when you are both meeting in his office, for example.

Your new nickname is a gentle form of harassment which needs to be addressed without delay.  Be respectful but ask your boss to stop using it.  His intentions may be honorable; nonetheless. You can’t work in an environment where you feel disrespected as a result of being given this nickname.

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Dieting At Work

 

A diet rich in soy and whey protein, found in ...

Dieting at Work!

There’s a woman in our office who is always talking about her diet and how well she’s doing.  She eats tiny portions and often avoids our lunch socials.  We all wish her well but she is becoming irritating. Any ideas?

People who overcome addictions are generally quite proud of their accomplishments and will take available opportunities to share their successes with others.

Food can be a compulsion at times – especially for women – so it is not surprising she also likes to talk about her diet and delight in her achievements.

Perhaps she has lost a great deal of weight – which could be obvious to co-workers.  Many people diet – with mixed results – so she may also be enjoying her new look which is readily apparent to everyone.

She probably doesn’t intend to be irritating but this is obviously the result as she is consumed with her diet and likes to talk about it.

There may very well be others who have struggled with weight loss and found it difficult to refrain from certain foods. Her diet, therefore, is almost a daily reminder of their own disappointments.

Ideally, it would be nice if she saw her successes as the opportunity to encourage co-workers and assist them with their dietary goals; however, it appears she is not interested in assuming this role.

You say she often avoids lunch socials which may be understandable to some extent but it does add to the perceived separation between her and colleagues.

Does she have a best friend in the office?  She would generally be the ideal person to communicate some of the concerns without offending her.  The topic should be introduced informally perhaps over coffee as she could be quite sensitive.

If there is no obvious friend, you could consider speaking with her.  It will be important not to represent others as this could devastate her.  Using a gentle voice, wish her well with her diet but recommend she speak less about it in the office.

Point out that her diet, while important to her, may not necessarily be of interest to others.  You could recommend she guide co-workers – if she is interested– in achieving success, but this is sensitive as not everyone will have the same level of motivation or awareness.

With the passing of time she may become less absorbed and will show more of an interest in others.  In general, however, it will be good for someone to speak with her – softly – about this matter as she may be alerted to a larger interpersonal issue that transcends her diet.

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Working From Home

My supervisor has recommended I start working at home, initially part-time.  I like the idea as an unhappy commuter, but a colleague warns this may be a sign I will be laid off.  What do you think?

Telecommuting is growing in importance, especially in North America, although only a small fraction of those office workers who could work from home are actually permitted to do so.

There are a number of significant benefits to telecommuting, which no doubt makes it desirable for you.  The elimination or reduction of long-haul commuting, of course, is probably the most attractive feature.

Fuel and maintenance costs would be reduced significantly and your car, with less mileage, will last much longer.

The flexibility and convenience is especially positive.  Plus, from an altruistic perspective, the environment receives a breath of fresh air with one less internal combustion engine on the highway.

There are some downsides, which need to be acknowledged.  If you’re easily distracted and have difficulty getting motivated, working from home can be problematic.

Social contact is severely limited although with Skype, teleconferencing and corporate Facebook accounts, you’d still be able to communicate regularly with your supervisor and colleagues.

The sense of community – which is often under-rated as a benefit of a welcoming workplace – is also compromised with virtually no opportunity to relate to others more closely and even make friends.

As for your colleague’s concern that this initiative may be a precursor to being laid off, I would not be at all worried.  This would seem to be speculation on his part and not based on fact.

In reality, a recommendation to telecommute is much more of an indication of his confidence in your capacity to work independently: it is compliment to you.

Ultimately, you will need to contemplate this decision on two levels: first, you should consider whether it will be a good career move.  And, second, you’ll want to examine your character and work style to determine if you are suited for telecommuting.

If there are co-workers who have also been asked to consider this option, approach them and seek their advice.  Their suggestions could help you make an intelligent choice.

Working from home isn’t for everyone; but, if after careful reflection, you’ve decided to accept this opportunity, make it for a trial period – of  say six months – to determine whether it is appropriate for the long-term.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

Cultural Sensitivity At Work

English: Montage of 15 Canadians from 14 diffe...

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We have employees from a wide variety of different cultures in our office and I am required to work with most of them.  Everyone if friendly but I sometimes wonder if I could be more sensitive or communicative.  Do you have any suggestions?

There’s no doubt that today’s workplace is inhabited by many employees representing myriad backgrounds.  And, given the rate of international immigration, this trend will almost certainly continue.

New immigrants bring significant skills to our country, and without their contributions – given our relatively low birthrate – our economy would likely suffer.

People from other cultures arrive here often with limited English language skills and an imperfect knowledge of Canadian social customs.  Although they are anxious to be accepted and be actively involved at work, it can be a challenge to fully integrate.

You and I, no doubt, would face similar challenges if we were to suddenly accept employment in another country with a significantly different culture and history.

It is encouraging that you would like to be more sensitive and communicative; although it is a complex matter, there are a few guidelines you might wish to consider:

Accept people as individuals first, and members of an ethnic group second; we all want to be valued but not simply because we are representative of a particular culture.

Second, don’t be in a hurry to engage people in deep conversation.  Many cultures require more time to feel comfortable in social settings and you’ll need to be sensitive to boundaries.

Third, relations between males and females could require a greater level of understanding: if you are a male, you might find that some of your female co-workers will not feel at ease with you socially.  Such intimacy in certain cultures  will be frowned upon.

And, fourth, be aware of body language and personal space.  Touch and eye contact can communicate unintentional messages to people from different ethnic backgrounds.  Don’t stand or sit too close to people to avoid making them feel uncomfortable.

Remember, though, that everyone – whatever the culture – likes to be recognized and appreciated.  As an unofficial ambassador, your sincere interest will go far in showing you are hospitable

Welcoming co-workers of many backgrounds is a laudable ambition.  Office morale will be greatly enhanced when everyone feels as if they are members of a team notwithstanding their ethnic origins.

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Our Office Is Boring!

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Our office is really boring!  People just do their jobs and there is hardly any social interaction except for some birthday lunches.  What can we do to add a little energy and excitement?

A vibrant office culture does not happen by accident: it requires commitment from everyone, particularly management, who would give leadership to the needed planning.

To a large extent the situation is a direct reflection of the current employees.  It may be the case that a majority of your colleagues simply want to complete their assigned tasks and have little interest in “mixing.”

If you have a somewhat older group of co-workers, they may be more active with sports, clubs and church, for example.   Also, parents with young children will be consumed with their own responsibilities.

At the same time, it is almost certain that a number of your colleagues have similar concerns and would like to introduce some liveliness to the office culture.

Your Human Resources Department – if you have one – would be a great place to start.  If it is appropriate for you to do so, make an appointment and share some of your thoughts.

Your immediate supervisor, too, would be a good person to speak to.  He or she may be willing to bring the matter to the attention of management.

I’d recommend you have some practical suggestions for increasing the number of social times – over and above the current obligatory birthday parties.  Simply complaining that the office is dull will not be helpful.

Be prepared to be personally involved.  It is likely that if any initiative is approved, that you will be selected to serve as one of the organizers.

The formation of a social committee could also be one of the outcomes of your ideas.  You would be the ideal person to chair such a committee which would be charged with improving the social climate of the office.

Although it would be desirable to engage a large number of your colleagues, you may be disappointed to find that only a few people initially express an interest in being involved.

An evening of bowling, for example, may draw a small core of players; however, this could represent an important launch as employees become open to socializing with co-workers and enjoying their company.

Office morale can be directly related to the friendly and sociable atmosphere.  Your initiative, therefore, is laudable and worth pursuing.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

Working From Home

telecommuting

telecommuting (Photo credit: jessamyn)

My supervisor has recommended I start working at home, initially part-time. I like the idea as an unhappy commuter, but a colleague warns this may be a sign I will be laid off. What do you think?

Telecommuting is growing in importance, especially in North America, although only a small fraction of those office workers who could work from home are actually permitted to do so.

There are a number of significant benefits to telecommuting, which no doubt makes it desirable for you. The elimination or reduction of long-haul commuting, of course, is probably the most attractive feature.

Fuel and maintenance costs would be reduced significantly and your car, with less mileage, will last much longer.

The flexibility and convenience is especially positive. Plus, from an altruistic perspective, the environment receives a breath of fresh air with one less internal combustion engine on the highway.

There are some downsides, which need to be acknowledged. If you’re easily distracted and have difficulty getting motivated, working from home can be problematic.

Social contact is severely limited although with Skype, teleconferencing and corporate Facebook accounts, you’d still be able to communicate regularly with your supervisor and colleagues.

The sense of community – which is often under-rated as a benefit of a welcoming workplace – is also compromised with virtually no opportunity to relate to others more closely and even make friends.

As for your colleague’s concern that this initiative may be a precursor to being laid off, I would not be at all worried. This would seem to be speculation on his part and not based on fact.

In reality, a recommendation to telecommute is much more of an indication of his confidence in your capacity to work independently: it is compliment to you.

Ultimately, you will need to contemplate this decision on two levels: first, you should consider whether it will be a good career move. And, second, you’ll want to examine your character and work style to determine if you are suited for telecommuting.

If there are co-workers who have also been asked to consider this option, approach them and seek their advice. Their suggestions could help you make an intelligent choice.

Working from home isn’t for everyone; but, if after careful reflection, you’ve decided to accept this opportunity, make it for a trial period – of say six months – to determine whether it is appropriate for the long-term.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

My Boss Bought Me An Expensive Gift

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My boss gave me an expensive-looking watch for a gift recently. I’m a single woman, quite a bit younger, and he is married. He has always been very well-mannered but I feel that I should give it back. What is your advice?

I sense this gift has come as quite a surprise which is probably the primary reason for your uneasiness.

In addition, any gift – especially if it is costly – may reveal a friendship that might not have previously been apparent. In general, we only give gifts to people we like.

While it is encouraging he has been well-mannered, as you put it, he nonetheless has demonstrated quite tangibly that he values you: the watch is jewelry, after all, and it will presumably remind you of him every time you look at it.

The value of the watch is somewhat significant but not necessarily critical. It may look expensive but perhaps he purchased it used or it could even be a well-crafted “knick off” which are readily available from internet stores.

In any event, he is likely aware your reaction would be one of astonishment. You don’t mention how he presented it to you, but I would guess it was done in private, perhaps in his office.

You apparently accepted it – before reflecting on the implications – so now you are having second thoughts.

I would recommend you keep the watch but only if you feel it is not a symbol of the genesis of a more intimate relationship. He is married, after all, and is your supervisor. A close friendship would not be appropriate.

If you are already wearing the watch – which he has noticed – it will be rather difficult to simply remove it and hand it back to him with little explanation.

If you are privately attracted to him – notwithstanding the boundaries that will need to be respected – the act of keeping the watch may also send out a potentially complicated message.

Should you decide to return the watch, be gracious and respectful; you don’t want either of you to feel awkward or undervalue your good working relationship.

The decision you make should be guided by your impression of what the watch symbolizes. If you worry that he may have feelings for you, return the watch; if, however, it is purely a gift –a way of thanking you for doing a good job, for example, then you can probably accept it without any concerns.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

Coworker Won’t Pay Borrowed Money Back

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A co-worker in another office borrowed $500 from me a few months ago. I’ve Emailed him and left messages a number of times but I’ve heard nothing. I’d like the money back right away. What can I do?

Your situation is unfortunately not that uncommon. It would be more accurate, I think, to make the point that you made the loan rather than stressing he borrowed it. It was your decision.

My guess is that he made a rather dramatic appeal to you – perhaps based on some personal or family tragedy – and promised to pay you back in a matter of days.

The months have passed and now you regret lending him the money even though your motives were honorable, even admirable. You may even be wondering whether he fabricated his plea in order to persuade you to make the loan.

You might be surprised to learn that he could have convinced others in the company to provide similar financial support although, even if true, it obviously would provide little comfort for you.

You’ll need to be convincing in making your appeal to collect your money. He must pay his mortgage or rent to stay in his home, and is obliged to keep up with his monthly utilities. His lifestyle, however, will not change if he fails to pay you back.

Emails, text messages and phone calls will not influence him. (“Delete” is a very easy button to press.) You must meet him in person at the earliest opportunity.

Plan to drop by his office unannounced as he almost certainly will feel uncomfortable meeting you. A colleague may informally tell you when he is available.

Your presence – your body language, tone of voice and eye contact – will have a significant impact on persuading him that he must pay you back immediately.

Professional collectors will often employ silence – noticeable gaps between appeals – as a technique to menace errant borrowers; you may also use this technique to capture his attention.

Give him the opportunity to explain but request the full amount. Allowing him to “think about it” or “get back to you,” should not be acceptable. Your message: he can make things right only be paying back the loan immediately.

You’ll need to be forceful and even uncharacteristically aggressive to collect your money. Show him a measure of respect but ensure your meeting is successful through persuasive body language and a cogent demand for full payment.

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