I’d Like To Write Better Reports

  • I’ve been told that writing good reports at work can really improve your chances for promotions.  Do you agree?  I am okay at writing but I know I could do better.  How can I improve?

The advice you’ve been given is accurate: good writing in general is always valued in a business setting, and peers and management will regard you as more intelligent, more articulate.

It is worth remembering, too, that a well-written report, for example, can often “pave the way” for upward mobility because management may read the report – and its recommendations – even before they know you personally.

Management might be impressed with your insights in the report and value your contribution to the organization.  A supervisor may take some credit for “discovering you” which in turn will help raise her profile with her superiors

Professional writing is the subject of numerous course and workshops, so it will be a challenge for me to summarize good writing in a few paragraphs – but here goes!

There are four key guidelines which should help you as you attempt to improve your workplace writing.  They are: get to the point, be specific, write to an audience and short is always better than long.

The first, get to the point, is obvious but often overlooked even by seasoned managers.  This means you place your most important information – or recommendation – at the start of your report, ideally in the first paragraph. Don’t hide it!

Second, be as specific as possible.  Instead of saying an employee takes “frequent sick days,” for example, detail the exact number, with contrasting data for other employees, if possible. 

My third guideline stresses your audience.  Who are you writing to?  What does he or she want to know?  If you are making a recommendation, what will be your most persuasive point?  Respect your reader by tailoring the message to what is required to make an effective decision.

And, finally, in business and professional writing, short is always better than long: short words, short sentences, short paragraphs.  You don’t need to impress your boss with an amazing vocabulary, and sentences should contain only one thought.  A paragraph that contains two or three sentences is easier to read then one with seven.

One additional thought – which is a “secret” I’ve discovered over the years. After completing your first draft, read it out loud – in the privacy of your home or office.  Aim for a conversational style which simulates your “voice.” A stuffy academic tone will not endear you to anyone!

I wish you well with your report writing.  These brief guidelines should help you, but if you have the time, consider taking a night school course to give you the practical tools – and confidence – you need.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

My Boss Is Hard To Work With

My boss is becoming increasingly hard to work with.  She is often argumentative and has temper issues, even at departmental meetings.  I don’t look forward to going to work.  Any advice for me?

A university colleague – a psychologist – once told me that, “All behavior makes sense once you know the cause.”  This observation may encourage you as you reflect on the treatment you’ve been receiving from your boss.

At the outset, let me suggest that her conduct is almost certainly nothing about you – or any of your colleagues – for that matter.

The demands of her work may very well be creating a level of stress that she can no longer contain: and the people she works with are the “beneficiaries” of this pressure.

Perhaps her supervisor has recently issued some corporate goals which she believes are unattainable.  She may also have a number of uncompleted tasks that are weighing her down.

She could have recently received a less than complementary annual evaluation and is now feeling insecure and worried that she may be demoted, even terminated.

Her frustration – expressed in anger – might also originate at home.  A difficult spouse, and errant child, even an aging parent, can cause tensions. It is not uncommon for people to transport their personal issues to work.

I would sense from the way you have expressed yourself, that she has always been somewhat difficult to work for.  In other words, she has an “edge” which may very well be her nature, her personality.

Nonetheless, it is not acceptable for you and your colleagues to have to endure her public tantrums.  A toxic workplace is unacceptable and the situation must be resolved sooner rather than later.

Does she have a best friend at the office, perhaps someone she socializes with outside of the regular workday?  I’d recommend you meet with that person – privately, of course – and share your concerns.

You should be specific in expressing your anxieties and encourage her (or him) to speak with your boss.  (Your anonymity should be protected.)

Allow time to pass after this meeting and if there is no resolution – or some trend in that direction – be prepared to formalize your complaints in writing to the HR department or her supervisor. 

Your appeal will have more impact if there are a number of employees who are willing to sign the memo.  In fact, it would not be in your best interests to be the only employee to communicate with HR.

You are in a difficult situation and the fact you don’t look forward to going to work must be extremely taxing.  Leaving your present employer may be an option but your first course of action should be to have the matter dealt for the benefit of everyone involved.

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Handling Criticism

We just had our monthly departmental meeting and one of the guys present was very critical of me. My boss, who chairs the meeting, didn’t say anything and he did not defend me. I want to correct what was said, but I’m not sure how to go about it. Any ideas for me? I’m a woman, by the way.

While you don’t explain the nature of the criticism, it was obviously inappropriate for you to be the recipient of such a verbal attack.

I would guess this individual has already developed a reputation around your office for “sounding off” although perhaps this is the first time you have experienced it personally.

If he has not been reprimanded for his conduct, he will feel free to continue, even though people – like you – may be hurt. I’ll assume he has been in the same position for some time so he probably has some prestige or standing with the company.

The fact your boss did not chastise him for criticizing you would lead me to believe he agreed with what he said or, more likely, he felt uncomfortable standing up for you.

Your boss cannot let the current situation continue because, in effect, he will be releasing some of his authority to this man who appears to have a very critical spirit. Your boss may even be afraid of him.

Even if there was some validity to the criticism, it is important that the meeting environment be welcoming and non-judgmental. Any discipline should be done privately between a superior and an employee.

In addition, the man who criticized you has no authority whatsoever. In making these harsh comments, he is assuming a measure of influence which, if not checked, will increase.

Your situation is therefore complicated but worth pursuing. Doing nothing is not a solution but it will require a measure of assertiveness on your part to at least have the matter addressed.

It is your boss, ultimately, who will need to intervene. As the leader, he sets the tone for meetings and the department in general. He is apparently a somewhat cautious person, but you should not endure further public criticism from this co-worker because of his timidity.

I’d recommend you meet privately with your boss at the earliest opportunity. Explain your concerns clearly and be careful not to become emotional. Ask him specifically to correct the impression that was left at the previous meeting.

If you sense your boss is uncomfortable with confronting the critical co-worker, you may need to re-evaluate your career plans with the company. Management should be supportive of employees like you and failure to treat everyone equally will almost certainly lead to a poor work environment.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

 

Internal Hiring Policy

We’re not advertising positions but instead are promoting employees within the company to fill vacancies.  I find it frustrating because I think we’re missing out on some excellent employees who could really add a fresh perspective.  What are your thoughts?
 
No doubt your HR department or management has their own reasons for filling positions internally.  It would appear that this policy is customary which apparently excludes all external recruitment.
 
It is important to note that there are genuine advantages to promoting from within.  For one thing, the whole process is extremely economical, especially in contrast to a formal external search.
 
Time is usually limited, so it is especially attractive to make a selection from current employees as arrangements for interviewing can be made within a matter of days.
 
Internal candidates are already conversant with the company, its culture and its policies, so an orientation would probably not be required unless appointments were made to a division operating at a different site, for example.
 
In practical terms, internal candidates are generally well known.  There is usually a greater comfort level as their skills and responsibilities have already been identified and evaluated.
 
Morale in general may be enhanced through internal hiring because successful candidates feel acknowledged.  They are therefore more likely to remain with the company and work their way up the organization.
 
On the other hand, as you note, exclusively filling positions from within can stifle creativity and “lower the bar” on innovation: candidates may be rewarded for simply being satisfactory.
 
Candidates who are friends – or at least well acquainted – may become adversaries in an internal competition that results in one being selected.  This is especially problematic if one ends up supervising the other.
 
In some instances, a candidate is pre-selected prior to a posting process. This can create ill will as employees may go through the effort to apply only to discover that there was no intention to appoint them in any event.
 
Ironically, perhaps, there are those employees who are less accepting of a colleague receiving a promotion or new position – even lateral – over a newcomer.
 
My recommendation is that you accept the current internal hiring process until it is patently obvious that candidates are assuming positions for which they are obviously unqualified.
 
Make your case for some selective external hiring and demonstrate – using concrete information – that the best interests of the company cannot be met without the opportunity to add “new blood.”
 
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Handling Layoff

Our company is going through serious down-sizing and lay-offs have been announced.  I just had a meeting with my supervisor and he has given me three months salary and a positive letter of reference.  Do you have any advice for me at this time?
 
If this came as a complete surprise, I’m sure you are experiencing significant stress, especially if you are the main provider for your family.
 
Three months salary is comforting but you will need to move quickly in order to secure a suitable position.  In fact, I’d like to recommend you work as hard at finding a new job as you did working at the one you are just leaving.
 
To avoid financial anxiety, you should continue to budget based on your salary and avoid thinking of the lump sum payment as an option to make a significant purchase.
 
This may be the opportunity to adjust your career trajectory although I expect you will be seeking a position that is similar to what you have been performing with your current employer.
 
Taking some risks could be desirable because, after all, your situation has been imposed on you.  If you’ve been considering a possible change of careers – even incremental – you might want to widen your search at this time.
 
Being strategic will be important.  As someone once said, “Scattered activity produces scattered results.”  Become organized as soon as possible with a logical filing system and a calendar filled with productive activities and appointments.
 
Using job sites such as Workopolis and Monster.ca can get you started and you may be fortunate to find something appealing within a few days.  These sites can also be researched to appreciate the job market in your chosen field.
 
There are many positions that become available but are not advertised.  These “hidden opportunities” can be discerned through networking and are sometimes filled without any competition.  Be in touch with friends, acquaintances, former co-workers, anyone who might give you a tip.

Your letter of reference is relatively standard but few employees will be interested: they will prefer to contact your references directly.  References should be notified to make sure they are prepared.
 
Review your resume and ensure it is contemporary and specifically designed for each position to which you are applying. Your cover letter, too, should also be focused, and ideally addressed to an individual rather than a department.
 
Finding a job – especially a career position is hard work.  Three months will go quickly and you’ll need to make every day count.  Be as organized as possible and network with everyone who might know of a company that is hiring.  Keep optimistic and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

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Finding the Right Employee

I’ve been asked to chair a selection committee to interview four finalists to fill a vacant position in our department.  I’m happy to take this on but I’m not sure about the process and how to discern the right person.  Your ideas?
 
Your selection committee will be performing what is commonly termed a panel interview.  It is generally a good system because it allows the input of a number of people each of whom will record their individual observations.
 
Your role as chair will be important because you will be giving leadership to the process, before, during and after the interviews takes place.  Preparation is essential and you’ll need to have sufficient time to organize the committee and its responsibilities.
 
I presume you are receiving some guidance from your HR department.  Ensure that you have all the requisite documents such as the job specifications and job description to work from.  You may also be provided with a recommended list of questions.
 
While your committee is not completely independent, it is critical that you have the autonomy you need to successfully carry out the assigned task.  Early interference from a department head, for example, should be discouraged.
 
You may be surprised to learn that you and your committee colleagues will be constrained as to the type of questions you may ask; in fact, human rights legislation requires you cannot ask candidates about their marital status, ethnic background, religion, or political affiliation, for example.
 
In addition, it is essential that everyone be treated identically.  Asking female applicants about their flexibility to work evenings, for instance, and not asking the same question of male applicants will be seen as discriminatory.
 
Once you have developed an approved set of questions – which clearly acknowledge the requirements of the position – arrange a suitable time to meet with the selection committee to go over the process.  It will be best to rotate the questions so they can be posed systematically to candidates.
 
Encourage members to exercise some freedom in their deliberations but remind them that the most articulate or most attractive candidate may not necessarily be the best choice for the position.
 
On interview day, schedule enough time for each interview but also allow sufficient breaks so that candidates can arrive and depart without scrutiny from others.  The binary rule of the appeal of the first and last interviewee should be recognized – the order of interviews may be significant.
 
Chairing a selection committee is an important responsibility.  Strive to be as organized as possible and ensure that committee members are committed to the enterprise.  Make candidates feel welcome and encourage a conversational style which allows for a natural response to various questions.
 
Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through out contact page.

Conducting An Office Orientation

We’ve just hired two new employees for our department and my boss has asked me to do an orientation for them.  He hasn’t given much direction but says it should take no more than two days.  How should I get started?  What should be my objectives?
 
Your boss’s request is a compliment to you.  He is demonstrating that he trusts you to explain the responsibilities expected of these hires, as well as the overall culture of the company.
 
It is essential you plan well for the orientation.  New employees should feel comfortable but they also need to know they are joining a professional organization with high standards.
 
You are, in a sense, the welcoming committee. After all, they will be spending two days with you and in many ways you will be the organization to them.  The values you portray, your work ethic, and your sense of loyalty will be seen as the standard.
 
It would be a good idea for you to prepare a checklist of what you would like to accomplish.  Be guided by their position descriptions (available from HR) which should be up-to-date and apply specifically to their duties.
 
I’d recommend you organize the program into one hour segments.  Don’t try to jam too much into a short period of time as they may become overwhelmed and probably will forget much of the content.
 
Although breaks might seem inefficient, they should be taken frequently to allow employees to re-charge but also ask questions in a less formal environment.
 
Once you have developed an agenda for the two days, coordinate the program with relevant department heads and other employees.  You don’t want to surprise someone by simply dropping in with the new hires in tow.
 
It is advisable to have a reasonably formal schedule which can act as a checklist as you fulfill the objectives of the orientation.  Your tone, however, should be warm and welcoming: some humor and fun are perfectly okay!
 
Remember, too, that the orientation is also for the benefit of the employer.  You should be noting any concerns or issues that could be addressed in subsequent sessions.  If an employee is obviously lacking in a required skill, this should be brought to the attention of management or HR.
 
Think of how you would like the orientation to end as this will be the final message delivered to these hires.  A wrap up over a light meal on site, perhaps with the CEO or some other senior executive in attendance, would provide a nice close to the program.
 
An orientation is an important process for new employees.  It will reduce anxiety and equip them to be productive and knowledgeable as soon as possible. Take the orientation seriously, but try to keep the tone light and enjoyable if at all possible.
 
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Baby Showers

My husband and I found out a few a months ago we can’t have children.  I now feel distressed every time there is a new baby announcement at work.  I’ve just learned there will be a baby show for a co-worker in my office but I’d rather not attend. What should I do?
 
This is must be an extremely difficult time for both of you.  It can be devastating for women, in particular, to learn that they will be childless – whatever the cause.
 
You are not alone: about one in six couples are infertile, and this figure increases incrementally with the passing years.
 
Your attitude to new baby announcements is totally understandable.  You are reminded of your own heartbreaking situation and it is something beyond your control.
 
Not attending the baby shower is of course an option but you also need to be appreciative of the joy of others.  Your non-involvement may communicate the message that you are not happy for the family.
 
In addition, you will need to consider whether you intend to tell co-workers about your situation.  While you might mention it informally to friends, be aware your inability to have children will likely be messaged informally around the office.
 
It is important, too, not to let this matter consume you to the extent that your demeanor, your body language, tells people that you are constantly despondent.
 
(Some years ago, people mourning the passing of a relative would wear a black arm band: nowadays, however, we tend to be more private with our emotions.)
 
I presume you are investigating the options available to you.  Adoption, of course, is a popular choice.  Modern technology, such as in vitro fertilization, may be worth considering, following a consultation with your doctor.
 
You may feel more peace of mind about your situation once you have calmly examined the next steps that could be available to you.  As time passes, you may also be somewhat more accepting of the circumstances in general.
 
I’d recommend you overcome the urge to “dump” on colleagues and instead focus on your work responsibilities.  Attend baby showers – and other special social events – if at all possible, unless you fear you could become noticeably emotional.
 
We all face disappointments and defeats in life: it’s how you respond to them that makes the difference.  Be proactive and pursue other options with your husband, if appropriate.  Don’t make yourself an object of pity and instead be someone who is a pleasure to work with and for.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

Retirement Party

retirement-invitationsMy boss is retiring and I’ve been asked to organize a staff farewell party for her.  I’m happy to make the arrangements but I don’t know where to begin. The party will be held in about a month.  Any ideas for me?
 
You probably have mixed emotions at this time.  You will no doubt miss her but you are also excited about the prospects of a new supervisor and the opportunities that may be presented to you.
 
Retirement is often quite emotive because it is so final.  In a matter of a month, she will be gone: her office and position will be filled by someone else.  She is likely somewhat sensitive at this time as she contemplates her new life without day-to-day work responsibilities.
 
A farewell party, then, needs to be mindful of her state but also acknowledge her contribution to the life of the company in a meaningful way.
 
People are often encouraged to retire “to something” as opposed to “from something” and you will almost certainly want to learn about her plans in order to include them in any presentations.
 
Her retirement aspirations may include travel or a hobby, for example, and it will be desirable to consider these in terms of a relevant gift – one that she will truly appreciate and remember.
 
Although the “roast” continues to be a popular retirement theme, I wouldn’t recommend it.  Yes, there is plenty of opportunity for laughter – most of it good-natured –however, the mood can be overly-frivolous and the person being honored may feel undervalued, even hurt.
 
The tribute, above all else, must be heart-felt.  Insincere obligatory messages – especially from senior managers – need to be kept to a minimum.  Select only those employees who know her well and can speak about her character based on working with her.
 
In brainstorming the program, consider a small committee of two or three employees – including you – who can develop a premise which will tie everything together.  A scattered approach will be less memorable and less honoring to her.

Food and drink are essential of course, but avoid serving alcohol.  A bar may seem welcoming but problem drinkers could be an embarrassment and may even leave impaired creating possible liability issues.
 
Depending on the venue, you would be advised to have lighter menu offerings – “finger food” – as opposed to a sit down catered meal which is usually both more expensive and time-consuming.
 
Planning a retirement party should be fun, especially if you use a committee.

Ensure that the program follows an identifiable theme but allow people the opportunity to share their memories of her contributions.  Pay particular attention to how the party will end and the poignancy of closing remarks.
 
Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

Efficiency Audits

Logo EEA consultant will be studying our department in a few weeks and we’re all very nervous, especially me! Her role will be to find efficiencies and will be preparing a report for senior management. How can I prepare for her visit?

It is not surprising you and your colleagues are feeling nervous; after all, if the consultant will be doing her job – and earning her fee – she will almost certainly be making significant recommendations.

Suspense will always raise the level of anxiousness. You are already imagining scenarios and extreme possibilities and so you are speculating based on what you envision could happen.

Perhaps you are discussing her anticipated visit with colleagues. They are probably beginning sentences with, “What if?” which is adding to the angst.

It is not management’s intention to upset you, but they are also aware that the announcement to appoint a consultant will create a mood of uncertainty which will be only resolved when the report is completed and implemented.

If there is a printed memo from management on the matter, take the time to review the parameters to appreciate the role of the consultant. You may discover that the implications are not as alarming as you first thought.

Also, attempt to appreciate her mandate: is it strictly a matter of down-sizing to save money, or are there other dimensions that you and your co-workers could address without threatening job security?

I am presuming your office is not unionized. Possible lay-offs – which would be your primary fear – would therefore not be guided by seniority provisions. On the other hand, more valuable and enterprising employees could be retained should some lay-offs be recommended.

Remember, too, that the consultant is a professional with experience in conducting these kinds of studies. She will not have a hidden agenda but will be following clear guidelines set by the management of your company.

Now would be the ideal time to evaluate your current duties in light of your job description. Be honest with yourself: am I successfully fulfilling the responsibilities prescribed?

You probably already have a good work ethic but if you are aware of some possible inefficiencies or chronic time-wasters, immediately take steps to correct this behavior.

The consultant will probably want to review employee evaluations. HR will have provided you with copies: locate these documents and review the content in light of any possible concerns such as potential duplications of responsibility.

While you can’t avoid a sense of apprehension concerning the impending arrival of the consultant, I would recommend you focus on your responsibilities and avoid negative conversations with co-workers.

By all means, prepare as much as possible, but have confidence in your value to the company and trust that you will be treated fairly by the consultant.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

How To Handle Termination

FiredI’ve recently been terminated – without cause – from a company where I’ve worked for almost 10 years.  They simply told me I wasn’t fitting in.  I’ve been given s six month severance package which is great but now I’m feeling apprehensive.  Do you have any ideas for me?
 
You are probably still feeling quite numb, especially if your termination came as a shock.  I presume you were called into an office at relatively short notice and the entire arrangement had been prepared by HR.

While you may have been surprised with what has transpired, on reflection, you can likely see some of the “signs” that led to your termination.
Your supervisor may have been reasonably pleased with your work, for example, but perhaps there wasn’t the level of encouragement or support that you might have expected.

Promotions may not have been awarded to you and it was rarely identified how you could improve your chances for advancement.

The word “chemistry” though rather indistinct, can often capture the difficulties that may emerge between employees and their supervisors.  There is latent tension, and a sense the people are not connecting well.

 “Chemistry” can also speak to the lack of compatibility between various people in an office: this can cause inefficiencies and a decline in productivity as people tend to compete rather than cooperate.

In any event, while reflection may be somewhat therapeutic, you now need to learn from the experience, and move on.  Put aside the temptation to dwell in the past and second guess anything you may have said or done.

It is now time for you to become strategic in your career.  Although you don’t identify your age, I am assuming you are in your twenties or thirties – or beyond.  You have invested a significant portion of your life in service to this company.

Although you may be comforted with six months to secure a new position, the time will pass quickly.  Don’t wait to pursue job opportunities.  Begin networking immediately and visit career websites.

A career coach could be invaluable at this time and you should also review and revise your resume to ensure it is contemporary.

Be a disciplined time manager.  You recent job required that you be at your desk for at least seven hours a day.  Plan to spend a similar amount of time each day on activities related to finding a new position.

Stay emotionally and physically healthy with a sensible diet, plenty of regular exercise and spending quality time with family and friends.  Don’t give in to potentially harmful addictions such as smoking and excessive drinking.

Being terminated after a decade of work with the same employer can be upsetting.  Stay positive, however, and look upon this time as an opportunity to take your career in a whole new direction.  Work hard at finding a position and seek advice from friends and a career coach to make the transition as smooth as possible.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

Stress Leave

QuestionssecondtrimestermaternityleaveA co-worker is off on stress leave, but I am suspicious.  I think he is just taking a paid vacation.  I want to share my concerns with somebody: would you recommend I speak to his supervisor (our boss)?
 
Stress is a significant factor in today’s workplace and, in fact, many experts believe more people are experiencing stress than even a decade ago.

Some statistics suggest that up to 40 per cent of workers believe their job is very stressful.  In addition, about a quarter of the people in one survey feel their job is the greatest stressor.

We spend so much time of our waking life on the job that it is not surprising that so much of our stress originates there.  Our employment gives us regular compensation, security, and relationships with many colleagues – it is precious to us.

We all know people who are unprepared for the strains of life.  A traumatic situation suddenly presents itself and the result can be extremely self-absorbed behavior.  The impact on individuals varies dramatically.

In the case of the co-worker who has selected to stay off work, he may be experiencing genuine stress and is not emotionally capable of performing his work responsibilities.

He could have opted to take stress leave – which is not doubt a recognized HR category for time off – because he sincerely believes he cannot function at this time in the workplace.

He might even be afraid he could “blow up” and act in such a manner that would be embarrassing for himself and others: this would be especially relevant should he have any customer contact.

Stress leave, then, can be a legitimate reason to be excused from work although if it is taken somewhat regularly, there could be a greater concern that will need to be addressed by management.

You are suspicious of this employee’s behavior, I would suggest your attitude to him probably transcends his absence; perhaps you and he are not collegial and there may be a mutual lack of respect.

In addition, if you have little regard for his work performance, you will see his stress leave as another example of a lower work ethic.  This will be particularly relevant if you have been required to assume some of his responsibilities.

I’d recommend you give him the benefit of the doubt, at least if his absence is an isolated occurrence.  If he is genuinely stressed out, it would be good to show him so understanding and welcome him back when he returns.

He might be simulating some of the characteristics of stress, but he still may be unable to perform at an acceptable level at this time.  Don’t mention your concerns to others – which could become gossip – and instead focus on your duties and be prepared to be sympathetic once he is back on the job.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.

Will A Promotion Lead To “The Silent Treatment”?

cliqueI’m getting the silent treatment from some employees in our office – here’s why: I was recently selected for a promotion over an older co-worker.  She and her friends are now acting as if I don’t exist.   Is there anything I can do to make things right with her?

I’m sure you can easily diagnose the reason for her conduct: she’s jealous of your promotion and wishes she could have been selected instead of you. 

She might also be feeling embarrassed as she had likely mentioned her interest in the position to others.  She now must acknowledge you were victorious over her.

Perhaps more important, she may see her lack of success as a reminder that she is getting older.  While there were concrete and logical reasons why management selected you over her, she nevertheless will take it personally.

Becoming silent, then, is her solution on two levels.  First, she wishes to make you feel uncomfortable which is apparently achieving the desired effect.  And, second, she is withdrawing to some extent as a coping mechanism.

Incidentally, you say that others in the office are treating you similarly. They are presumably showing their loyalty to her and their behavior is likely more of a temporary demonstration of sympathy, even pity.

I expect the silent treatment you are receiving from others will be reduced over the passing days; in fact, in purely practical terms, they can’t continue their conduct without seriously disturbing office efficiency.

In her case, however, she may be able to continue her conduct for a longer period of time but, ultimately, she, too, will need to accept what has happened and move on.

She’s been hurt and so she will need days – even weeks – to heal.  Your presence will be a continuous reminder of what has happened (and you can probably empathize with her situation).

It’s important that you maintain integrity and commitment to your work responsibilities by focusing on your new duties without being dragged down to her level.  You may be tempted to match her social withdrawal, but it won’t be a good solution.

I’d recommend you give her some time to face the reality of her rejection for the promotion.  Then, consider slowly building bridges by engaging her in conversation that values her as both an employee and individual.

She doesn’t dislike you personally – really.  But, she does resent you.  Allow her to get to know you as a caring person and she may ultimately realize that your promotion was, in fact, in the best interests of the company and even her well-being.

Staff Christmas Party

Our staff Christmas party is coming up and I’m not looking forward to it.  I’m not really a “party animal” yet I do realize it is important to be sociable and I know I should attend.  I feel this way every year – what should I do?  I’m a woman, by the way.

It’s ironic that your company staff party should be upsetting you; after all, management is hosting this occasion to provide an opportunity for employees to socialize in a relaxing – and welcoming – setting.

You use the phrase “party animal” which would lead me to believe that past Christmas parties have been hijacked to some extent by those employees who enjoy that dimension of socializing.

In many cases, these are the most energetic people who can add some welcome excitement to the atmosphere; unfortunately, however, they can also dominate and even intimidate quieter attendees.

Alcohol may be a factor in generating the kind of mood which you don’t appreciate.  Most employees no doubt are responsible but there are will be those who use alcohol excessively as a social lubricant.

In some cases, the boisterous behavior can almost exclusively be attributed to the effects of alcohol; management, therefore, could be responsible for allowing this conduct.

If there is only nominal supervision, the “party animals” can be expected to take over.   These will generally be younger males who are happy to capture the attention of others, especially female co-workers.

The culture of office social functions also tends to magnify informal relationships – as you’ve probably noticed.  In these settings, employees are permitted to engage in types of communication that could be less acceptable at the office.

The general result is that some people will find themselves feeling awkward or embarrassed when they return to work.  Although they can be excused to some extent, their conduct has nevertheless has been observed by others.

Your experience with Christmas parties is unfortunate and I would suppose you don’t see any benefit to attending.  Besides, if certain co-workers are destroying the atmosphere, then it is hardly surprising you would like to be excused.

I do think you should continue attending: your presence will send a positive message to management and co-workers alike. 

If you don’t wish to drink, simply choose a ginger ale.  Your beverage choice won’t be questioned and you can still enjoy mixing with co-workers whom you consider friends.

The social dimension of working in an office can be complicated and even stressful.  Nonetheless, it is important you be seen as a member of the team so be sure to attend the Christmas party and encourage management to set a positive tone for you and other like-minded colleagues.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through out contact page.

Stuck In A Dead End Job?

I’m feeling totally trapped in my job.  I’ve been doing the same thing for about four years and I know I’m in a rut.  I don’t know what to do – do you have any suggestions for me?

I would say the most common query I receive relates to a sense of being in a rut.  So many people are no longer challenged by their work which leads to feelings of emptiness, even depression.

While you are obviously restless, it is essential that you determine if, in fact, it is the job that is the problem; in other words, your negative feelings may be a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.

Are you are comparing yourself with friends who have achieved more and are apparently making a larger income than you?  Perhaps a co-worker’s recent promotion has caused you to feel “left behind” (even though you may not have applied for the position).

You might even have a general sense of dissatisfaction with your circumstances which could be affecting every aspect of your life, including your job.  An unhappy marriage or incessant financial issues are examples of problems that are particularly pervasive.

If, on reflection, you believe the job itself is the obstacle to your happiness, you should review the circumstances that led you to apply and serve in this position.

I am presuming you had the requisite skills – and interests – when you first applied.  What has changed in four years?   Have there been duties added to your responsibilities?  Do you have a new supervisor who is not encouraging?

I am also wondering if you need to become more career-minded with a vision for where you would like to be in, say, five or 10 years.  Without a strategy, you’ll almost certainly flounder and find yourself in a rut.

Start today and make a candid evaluation of your current circumstances.  Review the opportunities that may be available foe you with your current employer and determine if you require more training, university education or experience in another department of the company.

If you’ve been chronically unsuccessful in pursuing promotions – or even lateral transfers – make an appointment with HR and attempt to discern what obstacles you’ll need to overcome to achieve success.

While you likely value the security found in your current position – and employer – you may need to look elsewhere to advance yourself.  Another company could also provide you with more opportunities for training and personal enrichment.

Feeling trapped in a job is not uncommon. In your case, you’ll need to be systematic and motivated to climb out of your rut.  Set your course on a career plan and equip yourself with the necessary tools and attitude to make it happen.

Submit your confidential questions relating to work and office life to Simon through our contact page.